Misunderstanding God

Today I realised that I have laboured under a misconception of who God is. Now this is probably in itself no great mystery in that all of humanity has in some way misunderstood God. But if you have the inclination to read on then please work with me here.

Two common descriptions of God are of Father and of Teacher. I realised while lying on my bed this afternoon that I had come to view God firstly in some sort of educational/disciplinary type role. The problem with this understanding of God goes thus - if I do well he will bless me, if I do bad he won't. As I don't feel blessed right now I must be doing badly. This then leads to a certain negative state of being and a definite feeling of being unloved.

Now don't get me wrong, I wholeheartedly believe that God is a teacher, but my understanding of this due to my educational upbringing and the like has clouded what teacher actually means. A cursery glance at the old testament shows that the first thing that God does is create the world and create people - his first act is that of a Father (creating the home and then creating the baby!). So my first understanding of God should be as a Father (in the positive sense of who a Father should be). A Father who loves me, and then from there explore other facets of his character.

So my mindset needs to change. I am loved. I am blessed. And from that secure place I can learn, grow, make mistakes, learn, mature and be all that I can be and understand more of who He is.

Apologies that this isn't the most well thought out or well written post; but I wanted to get my thoughts out before I lost the moment, as such.