Sitting on my sofa earlier today, all of a sudden I was engulfed in what I can only describe as a wave of future nostalgia.
I was old, and my sister was talking to her daughter while in my presence saying "Your Uncle David used to play in a band with your Dad".
It made me smile, my eyes quite possibly got a touch wet and I felt hopeful, special and inspired.
So I have blogged, and then I shall pick up my guitar and practice, possibly finish writing my new song...
Wednesday, 27 January 2010
Thursday, 21 January 2010
My Notebook or Net Book Or Mini Laptop Or Whatever It Is
For the first time in ages I started carrying my small laptop thing with me to work and back so I can get creative again! I started this week by writing a letter to a dear friend which I probably should print out and post tomorrow. I think the next step will be to re-open the rather large document that is handily entitled Novel and press on with it. I'm feeling a little bit more inspired and creative again. Oddly enough being weighed down and stuff doesn't aid the creative process.
Next step after using the train time wisely will be try and use some of my time spent in the flat on noveling as opposed to watching silly tv programmes! Although to be fair, I have been using the silly tv programmes in a constructive way the last week or so as a time to practice playing the guitar. So there have been some "improvements"... whether or not there are improvements in my guitar playing is another matter all together!
Next step after using the train time wisely will be try and use some of my time spent in the flat on noveling as opposed to watching silly tv programmes! Although to be fair, I have been using the silly tv programmes in a constructive way the last week or so as a time to practice playing the guitar. So there have been some "improvements"... whether or not there are improvements in my guitar playing is another matter all together!
Saturday, 16 January 2010
Monday, 11 January 2010
Confrontation and the Insult of a Friend
I was out the other night with friends and someone (and it matters not who this person is) insulted a close friend of mine. They felt with great justification the words they shared were fair even if they were very pointed. I was disappointed as I felt my friend was being poorly represented and I very lamely tried to argue against it.
A few days on from this a few things have become clear to me, a) I don't deal with confrontation too well, b) I care very much for my friends but c) if I am unable to defend my friend who I see how can I defend my closest friend who I can't?
What has become so very apparent to me is that as a Christian I am no longer just me, but I am Christ plus me. I am His representative. And in some cases I am the only Christian some people will meet, therefore I have an obligation, a responsibility as a representative of Christ. I think of scriptures like 1 Corinthians 6 v19 which says that we are not our own but have been brought at such a high price, the whole passage talks in part of how we should live our lives. Or Jesus' words in Matthew 28 to his disciples about what we are to do in his absence. Or the words recorded by the Apostle John "By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another" (John 13 v35).
A few days on from this a few things have become clear to me, a) I don't deal with confrontation too well, b) I care very much for my friends but c) if I am unable to defend my friend who I see how can I defend my closest friend who I can't?
What has become so very apparent to me is that as a Christian I am no longer just me, but I am Christ plus me. I am His representative. And in some cases I am the only Christian some people will meet, therefore I have an obligation, a responsibility as a representative of Christ. I think of scriptures like 1 Corinthians 6 v19 which says that we are not our own but have been brought at such a high price, the whole passage talks in part of how we should live our lives. Or Jesus' words in Matthew 28 to his disciples about what we are to do in his absence. Or the words recorded by the Apostle John "By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another" (John 13 v35).
Saturday, 9 January 2010
Fear And Loathing In West Ruislip
It's funny how you can be quietly going about life and a moment of clarity hits you. I had such a moment last night wandering into the bathroom in my flat.
Six and a half years ago my then fiancee ended our engagement. My epiphany was that without realising it rejection had pervaded my view of myself stemming from that rather unfortunate turn of events.
I could go into lots of detail but now is not the time. I should apologise to friends and family who have born the brunt of my fears and self loathing. But I know that firstly they'll forgive me because they're amazing and secondly in this case it's more about me changing and being a better friend.
The irony being that (if you'll pardon this somewhat vain indulgence, I like to think) I'm a pretty decent friend. However I want to be better than pretty decent, you few who read this deserve that. And I need this, because I'm not happy living in fear and waiting for rejection or worse engineering it.
Six and a half years ago my then fiancee ended our engagement. My epiphany was that without realising it rejection had pervaded my view of myself stemming from that rather unfortunate turn of events.
I could go into lots of detail but now is not the time. I should apologise to friends and family who have born the brunt of my fears and self loathing. But I know that firstly they'll forgive me because they're amazing and secondly in this case it's more about me changing and being a better friend.
The irony being that (if you'll pardon this somewhat vain indulgence, I like to think) I'm a pretty decent friend. However I want to be better than pretty decent, you few who read this deserve that. And I need this, because I'm not happy living in fear and waiting for rejection or worse engineering it.
Friday, 1 January 2010
Dear God
Dear God,
I don't want to grow up , because grown-ups have to go to work and it sounds really boring. I want to stay a little kid so I can always play games.
Yours,
Rupert.
I don't want to grow up , because grown-ups have to go to work and it sounds really boring. I want to stay a little kid so I can always play games.
Yours,
Rupert.
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