Vanity and the Egotist

When I told a very close friend of mine that I had finally joined the world of the blog; his reply somewhat in jest of course, was "I'm surprised you've resisted for so long, you little egotist!". Aside from the wry smile it brough to my face it also got me thinking about creative endeavours and why 'we' undertake them.


For example, I compose songs and perform them on a variety of different artistic landscapes. Being a soul of romantic disposition, a considerable amount of my musical creation falls into for want of a better description love songs (although if anyone heard much of my output from Ikonoklast's days they might question that!) across the aforementioned landscapes. In searching for the meaning behind the song; the motives if you will for writing such things, it can of course cover a such wide range from the pure to the not so! And thus it led me further on to asking the slightly more specific question as it were of why am I writing this blog? Is it for me, is it for you, does my opinion matter and why?

When I was at university many moons ago, one of my lecturers voiced his dispair about the internet and how basically anybody could write anything on it and other people might then take note of that. Therefore the potential is there for complete garbage and that garbage to be validated. And I agreed with him wholeheartedly, and now I am writing a blog, adding further clutter to the internet. Of course I am intelligent, witty, charming, endearing, interesting, my blog would never be garbage, no no sir, my views are a cut above, and thus I am also in danger of being a fraud and an egotist.

And still I play on.

I am not sure I have an answer to this seeming dichtomy, and I suspect that over time I may get a slightly clearer picture. I may not of course. Perhaps I think too much and ask far too many questions. But I have promised myself that I will attempt to not allow this blog to become a place where I either rant about nonsence or fall into ever greater pits of dispair and depressing self loathing. Somewhere between vanity and depression is where this blog shall hopefully reside and perhaps glory something far worthier than I.

And in another moment of vanity; in homage to someone special, I end with this thought, "make of this what you will".