New Years Eve Eve

Today, Friday 30th December, new year's eve eve, and the wife and I are off to a wedding.

Genuinely excited.

Full of hope and expectation.

Not even gonna think about my weight.

That might change when I try and button up the trousers!

Family and friends are such a blessing. Had the joy of spending three consecutive days 'having Christmas' and it was lovely. Good food, great company, presents.

Wife has just got out the shower which means I must up up and away and get ready for this auspicious day.

Post Diet Blues

I've come to two conclusions.
Firstly why the diet has failed - eating chocolate, donuts and other 'bad' things because work has been for want of a better word 'sucky'.
Secondly I am suffering post diet blues.

These two things side by side make for a certain amount of mental confusion. Work sucks, feel bad eat chocolate, feel better but then realise that diet isn't going so well therefore feel bad. Eat chocolate, feel better. Go to work, feel bad. Eat chocolate feel better, realise diet isn't going so well therefore feel bad.

As quitting my job isn't really an option I've decided to go for a different strategy.

Haven't quite worked out what that is yet though. Going to ponder it over a nice cuppa tea and a Chocolate Orange.

Ramblings about Hard Times and Good Intentions

A very dear friend blogged recently about some of their recent travails. I found the blog to be challenging, inspiring and sad... I also read an interesting article relating to Tim Tebow which also challenged me http://t.co/Qg9bGbwN

Both of these got me thinking about how open I am, about how I share my faith, how I interact with the world around me, about how I care for my brothers and sisters.

I love my parents so much, they aren't afraid to ask 'awkward' questions which really when I think about it aren't awkward at all. They are concerned for my spiritual wellbeing, so they do what they can. I want to be a bit more like that. I want a bit more Jesus in my conversation, otherwise what is the point of all this? Hiding 'my' light under a proverbial bushel!

I also want to be more prayerful and a bit more encouraging.

So if I ask you a seemingly awkward question my apologies. And if I'm not being very encouraging or gracious feel free to point this out to me. The road to ruin is paved with the good intentions of many a man, however without good intentions there isn't the possibility of doing good. It is my utmost desire to make the most of these good intentions and hopefully 'ruin' will be but a long lost memory.

And darling if you're reading this I've put some washing on and will do the washing up this evening as promised.

Love and Sex

Why does love and sex seem to always be portrayed as sex and then if you're lucky maybe love, but if not then go get some more sex elsewhere...

Now I'm trying not to be too judgemental here but I do think that this isn't necessarily the only interpretation of the way relationships work. And it'd be nice if more stories showed a lil bit more variety to relationships.

Or maybe I'm just crazy and fell in love and then had sex.

Ponderings

Started reading Mere Christianity today. Mr Lewis is a very clever man.

Having read the first chapter it got me thinking about the way in which we(I) as a human being treat others. The premise of the first chapter; and forgive my poor attempt at a summary but here goes, was that mankind has an understanding of right and wrong, a morality if you will. And the justification for this premise is the human reaction when an individual is wronged or does something that upsets someone else and they attempt to justify their behaviour. The actions and justifications show that in general people feel there is right and wrong and act upon this.

Reading Facebook today I wondered how the world might be a better place if people thought for a moment about how they treat others and how they would like to be treated and the differences between those two points...

And in diet world... Not going so well. I think I may like chocolate more than I originally thought.

Further thoughts; I miss my wife when she is not around, nothing new there I know. What I have also realised is that I'm a better person when she's around and I eat an awful lot less chocolate!

So Hard and Yet This Is The Aim

I was reminded this week that as a married man my role is to love my wife as Christ loves the church (Ephesians 5:25).

I have a lot to live up to and learn...

A little bit of this and a lil piece of that

Awkward/random conversation in the lift:
Woman - "you're tall... Or maybe I'm short!"
Me - "um yeah..."
Silence...
.
.
.
Woman - "bye" and gets off at the next floor.

Situation not aided by my ipod and not really knowing what is lift etiquette(sic) in Hayes! Oh well.

Diet update - not going well. Tried to put on some jeans and found they no longer fit. Think the 10 donuts from last week have come back to bite me on the posterior or rather just sit there!

New Definition Of Frustration

So I've decided to transfer my music from small old laptop (SOL) to funky amazing new tool (FANT) VIA my darling wife's external hard drive(DWEHD).

It took 12 hours to move 62gb of music from SOL to DWEHD aka painfully slow! And then it only took 40 mins to transfer the music from DWEHD to FANT!

Frustration!

I confess I am not fully relieved yet though. I next need to tidy up the folders a wee bit on the FANT and then attempt to swap my itunes account over from SOL to FANT and hope that the ipod doesn't then go AWOL!

Phew!

Still can't get over the twelve hours...

While I Wait...

For an Access database to do it's clever thing I thought I'd carry on with my confessional mood of late...

I've eaten a lot of donuts over the last two days - this may have a negative impact on the diet especially as there was no footie on.Tuesday due to the appearance of Switchfoot in SheBu.

Ho hum.

In other news, the milk shortage at work appears to have transferred to the flat, very little left. A trip to Tescos may be called for. Although avoiding donuts may be hard work. Does that count as exercise?

Access has finished it's thing so back to work - ttfn.

Confused As To What Is Racism

So when does a descriptive term become racist? I must confess to being somewhat confused and idly curious as to what is racist and what isn't.

Case in point, someone described someone else as a black wotsit(insert whatever insult you want) and this was deemed racist. However if I am described as a skinny white boy is that racist? Is it only racist if you are being rude or dislike someone? Are there degrees of it? I'm still confused as to why if I say the N word it is racist yet if a rapper from the broncs says the N word it is ok!*

And what is casual racism? For that matter what is institutional racism and how is positive descrimination not racist?

*for the record I don't actually use the N word. It's not nice to call someone a neaderthall ;)

Grace and The Letter Of The Law

So this week saw to my eyes at least a wonderful example of someone in authority showing grace and not applying the strictness of the law.

Billy Sharp has endured what is probably the worst situation in the world; his two day baby died.

Being a professional footballer, he then played for his side Doncaster and scored a quite superb goal. Upon which he 'celebrated' by lifting up his shirt showing a message saying 'that's for you son'.

The referee was well within his rights to book the player for contravening the current laws of the game but instead showed grace, knowing what had happened.

It got me thinking about how legalistic I can be sometimes. How I want everything to be done to the letter of the law. Perhaps I need to be a bit more gracious and let God be the one who makes the final decision as to vengence.

Death To Self While Feeling Like Death

So last night's sermon coupled with the John Stott book I've been reading served to remind me about the Jesus principle of death to self.

Now the reasons for this; explained by many and at great length far better than I, however in brief summary are... For the greater glory of God, the greater blessing of his presence and the greater blessing of more fruit/chocolate/other good things.

So this morning I put the principle of death to self to work. I woke up with a headache having not slept at all well. I then put to death the feeling like death and got up and went to work. 3 teas, 2 ibuprofen, 1 coffee, 1 orange juice, some fruit(apple and grapes), a small(ish) toblerone and an 'all day breakfast' sandwich later coupled with a smattering of prayer and I am hanging on in there. Hopefully the principle is at work while being at work.

I must confess I am hoping for some presents and fruit later. In the meantime I've got data everywhere.

In other good news, despite a very bad week for the diet I have not gained any weight. I am still 13 and 2 lil bits.

Oh go on then let's be mildly controversial

Was pondering a few things written on a friend's blog and thought I'd be mildly controversial.

Christians love to bash Westboro and it got me thinking that perhaps we shouldn't be quite so condemnatory and perhaps we should show them some love and forgiveness and perhaps some kindness... Now that would be interesting.

What Do You Do When...

...people use their free will to do 'bad' things?

Patience...

...is perhaps one of the hardest thing in our 'instantaneous' fastfood society. Yet it would appear to be a trait that is necessary to having peace and living a fulfilled life.

Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.
James 1:2-4 NIV

How often do I want an instant answer, an instant reward, an easy fix.

It is obvious from nature that things take time to grow and mature AND yet we ignore this and demand now now now.

I sometimes wonder in our busyness and demanding and incessant noise how much we are missing the stillness and peace of Christ.

And in that comes a strengthening of our faith.

Diet success/fail...

So re-did the whole weighing thing on the original scales - 13 stone 2. Which means I've lost 2. Diet success!

Someone bought heroes into work, I ate them. Forgot to take footie kit to work and didn't get home in time to get back to hillingdon sports centre for 8pm so no football for me. Watches tv and ate angel slices instead. Diet fail!

Stupid Diet

Weighed myself tonight... Not lost any weight. Stupid diet.

Barry White, The Munchkin and Silence

I woke up on Monday morning with a sore throat. My colleagues decided that the I'd obviously been on the sauce over the weekend, which strictly speaking wasn't incorrect but I suspect was only one of many contributing factors. So for 3 days I sounded like Barry White; now this is not necessarily a bad thing, in fact sometimes this is a good thing. However disaster struck on Thursday morn.

Now for the unknowing - my wife's alarm goes off first and she leaves before I get up (no surprises there really!). However I usually am vaguely awake enough to say hello and a few other sweet words. This Thursday morning though Barry had disappeared, infact he had shrivelled down into a munchkin. The husky voice had turned into a squeek. The walrus of love was no more. Sadly the munchkin's existance lasted for about an hour and then croaked.

Silence...

Not good.

By the time my dear wife returned home a pale imitation of Barry had reappeared. So as I sit on the sofa this Friday morning, all wrapped up with the jewellary channel on tv and church bells echoing through Hayes spare a thought for all the poor saps who are stuck at home having to watch daytime television. If anything was designed to make you feel worse about yourself and rush back to work this does!

In other news I must confess that in a moment of trying to make myself feel better I ate chocolate. 300 grams of Galaxy chocolate. It definitely made me feel better. And it probably hasn't negatively impacted the diet too much because I've hardly eaten a thing so it probably was a good aid!

Probably Should Weigh Myself

So I'm not sure if the diet is working, problem is I haven't weighed myself to see if I have lost any weight! I don't feel smaller or healthier for that matter. This could be the problem with feelings, as my dad says 'notoriously unrealiable'.

Last night I ate two slices of cake and some chocolate, twas part of dinner at my friend's very enjoyable 30th birthday party. Good times. Although both the wife and I felt slightly bloated by the time we left. It didn't break the terms of the dietary plan but probably didn't help the losing weight process either...

First Time In A Long Time

For the first time in a very long time, 17 long months, I opened up the novel and wrote something. Only about 100 words today but still a small but hopefully significant step. I was challenged at church by the sermon delivered by Father Cliff yesterday; thus this evening instead of just slouching in front of the tv I have done the washing up, cooked dinner and most importantly supported my wife in her work by being relatively quiet on the sofa and doing some work on le novel! That is all...

Songs That Sometimes Bring A Tear Or Two To My Eyes

You raise me up by Josh Groban - one of my favourite songs and the first dance at my wedding, can't help but be inspired whenever I hear it and now reminded of standing on a dance floor in my wifes arms surrounded by family and friends on the most amazing day of my life.

Always by Switchfoot - tis a close run thing between this and Dare You To Move but Always just takes it. I first heard it in a tent in a field in Somerset and was blown apart and put back together again.

Hands down by Dashboard Confessional - the moment I heard this song I fell in love with it and it has been a favourite ever since. The line 'and you kissed me like you meant it' was something I dreamed about for years, I'm blessed to have found that now, nothing quite comes close to being kissed back by someone who wants you.

Only one by Yellowcard - I can't help but lean back and sing at the top of my lungs to this song. Nothing like being at a gig and with hundreds of others sing your guts out, it's like heaven and how church should be sometimes.

Mountains high by Delirious? - this song reminds me of my dear friend Peter Scott, even as I write this my eyes well up. He died a few years ago and we miss him terribly; but this song reminds of the sadness of this, the hope of the better place he is right now and The One who helps us through this life.

What songs get you?

The Other Thomas Brother...

...is taller than me.
Fitter than me.
Nicer than me.
Clever than me.
Does a far better job than me for a far greater cause.

And he brings a great deal of joy to my life.

I am, very proud of him. He turned out properly good which isn't surprising considering his parents, school, friendships, place of work etc.

The Sacrifices We Make For Charity

So the diet went to pieces today BUT it was in aid of nay in honour of, no wait it was to help save the world, it was possibly the greatest sacrifice since a certain someone gave up donuts. Ok I exaggerate in a hopefully vainless attempt at a laugh.

The glee club at work decided to partake in the Macmillan Coffee Morning, they enticed unsuspecting* workers to bake cakes and then buy tickets for a raffle/pay a pound for a slice of cake.

Three pounds later and my good intentions were blown away by the collective good intentions. So I have sacrificed my waistline for the greater good of humanity. Someone bake me a cake as I didn't win anything in the raffle!

*unsuspecting as only a handful of people at work know about the diet and I don't have the profile or clout to arrange a 'eat healthy and give money to charity' event!

Oh What A Martyr I Am

Not really...

Or perhaps maybe...

No, definitely not; although I do need to be careful that I don't turn into a broken record with my 'I'm not snacking between meals so I can't eat chocolate' schtick. I suspect that it might quickly become tres annoying to those nearest and dearest too me!

My darling wife amusingly said to me last night, 'ignore what I'm about to do'. This is quite difficult for me at the best of times, and in this instance I failed quite badly and stared at her with the gawky look of an awkward teenager meeting a supermodel in the flesh. Anyways, the long and short of it was that I ignored my wife's plea and engaged in the illicit activity of eating a single white chocolate coffee truffle thing.

I shall make amends this evening by attempting to run a little bit more at football. My brother in law; not inaccurately, suggested that us Thomas boys are not known for our defending. My father in law took it one step further and suggested I was a goal hanger.

They may have a legitimate claim, however as last week's game finished in a draw and I scored half my team's goals I thought it was probably an ok thing. And for the record the other Thomas brother is significantly better and fitter than me and probably defends better too. He certainly scores more goals at the moment - this may be down to the fact that my stomach is holding me back!

Is It Better To Be Proved Right Or For People To Actually Change/Good Things Happen?

Been pondering for a while now about my attitude to various things and the inequalities in my little world. Am I more concerned about being proved right or do I want to see people grow and change? Do I want to be proved right or can good things happen?

Maybe I'm just a bit grouchy because of the diet... Maybe my happiness has been judged in relation to the number of donuts or twixs I've eaten

Which thinking about it is pretty dumb.

And maybe this semi-detox of the body will serve to remind me that detoxing my soul is very necessary too.

Hate what is evil, cling to what is good... Don't think of yourself more highly than you ought... Encourage one another... Love one another... Love covers a multitude of sins...

So here's hoping and praying that I turn out to be wrong about a number of things; and that instead some people will surprise me... that some good things will happen... that these cravings for chocolate/being proved right will lessen... and that Arsenal will please learn how to defend...

(for the record on Sunday I snacked on two mars mini rolls in the afternoon)

Is This Cheating?

So yesterday the 'diet' was a bit of a struggle.

I had a donut at lunch, now strictly speaking this is allowed in my diet plan, however it felt like cheating. And then after dinner I ate some chocolate. Technically it was a part of my evening meal but yada yada yada you get my drift and hopefully feel my pain!

So I thought I would aid the losing weight process.

I had a hair cut.

I reckon I must have lost a few pounds!

I have tripped and fallen on some M&Ms

Not literally of course but not figuratively either.

So the diet thing had its first stumble. I say the diet, really I mean I gave in and succumbed to the seductive overture of red, white and blue M&Ms this morning.

Forgive me?!

The good thing out of this was firstly that I didn't eat tons of them and secondly it still made me feel bloated. This is a good thing I think, hopefully means my capacity to consume chocolate is diminishing. This used to be a source of great pride, a skill if you will. However my views have changed slightly as has my metabolism. Who says it isn't possible to change eh!

One Week In And Not A Snack In Sight...

So the new 'diet' has been going for a week...

I can happily report that I have not had a snack. Ok in the strictest sense this isn't true - I've eaten a punnet of grapes.

I'm not sure if I've lost any weight; I'm caught between not wanting to weigh myself in case I haven't and not being able to weigh myself due to a lack of scales!

Also unsure as to how quickly one should see a loss in weight. So many unknowns. Sadly I can't eat some chocolate while pondering this...

Diet

Black Monday. For that is what Monday 29th August 2011 shall be known.

Why I hear you stammer, well let me tell you.

I weighed myself, 13 stone and 4 pounds. Not good...

Now before you get cross a few points. A. Five years ago when I started my current job I weighed maybe 11 stone. B. Thinking about it A is the only point.

Some subpoints though:
A.1 running around is much harder these days because I'm carrying this food baby which is over 2 stone (no wonder I can't do chin ups anymore!).
A.2 I will fit comfortably into those jeans again(this is a very important issue!).

Ok a point b. B. I checked that body mass index thingy, I'm still within it but I'm literally on the edge, I'd kinda like to be in the middle.

So three days in and it is going well, I think. My new diet is called 'the no snacking and eating chocolate/pastries/donuts all day long diet'. Or The NSAECPDADL Diet. Good name huh. Will update you with my progress or lack thereof.

Loving Everyone

Heard at the weekend that a friend has had a real rough time of late.

I felt a twinge of guilt, because quite often I give this friend a bit of a ribbing. It's all in jest you know, I don't mean it and yet I still do it.

Now maybe I have an excuse cos my mates are always taking the mickey outta me but it is still an excuse and really no need for it.

Someone in an unrelated thing said 'everything in moderation' which was a good reminder. If I'm gonna give people an occasional ribbing I need to make sure that I'm also doing my fair share of encouraging, loving, helping and making them smile...

Breakfast

I think I'm going to make pancakes for breakfast this morning.

Such behaviour only happens at weekends or when I'm on holiday.

Or Shrove Tuesday.

Which reminds me that right now I'm clearing out some of the junk in my flat, it's equal parts frustrating, exciting, painful and boring. But it is good. As are pancakes.

Icecream?

Why Are We So Selfish?

So I've been pondering for quite a while about this situation that has been going on for nearly a year now.

The problem I have is that I want to shout from the rooftops how out of order and horribly selfish someone has been. Thing is, if I out this person, if I right the wrongs as such(and there is no grey area that this thing is a matter of perception, the person has genuinely been wrong) then I'm potentially being selfish myself.

Tis a hard one. I'm reminded of that bloke from the bible; no not him, the other one, who said 'the things I want to do I don't do and the things I don't want to do I do'!

It would be so easy to say blah blah blah so and so blah blah blah and in this social media aware world everyone would hear but would they? And more importantly a great deal of grace has been apportioned to me, should I not extend some undeserved favour to others?

I'm still not entirely sure what the right thing to do is, more prayer and thought is needed...

To Trust Or Not To Trust

Over the last few weeks I have been struck by the thought about who and/or what we trust, and leading on from this how do we trust.

These thoughts triggered by the media, goings on in the political sphere and struggles in friend's lives.

At the end of the day we all trust, to varying degrees. We trust the bed we lie in won't break, that the roof over our head won't cave in, that the food from the supermarket won't kill us.

And yet in human interaction we can be very quick not to trust. Which is strange. We are more likely to trust that a stranger who we have never met won't do something negative towards than our closest friends, families and lovers? How did we get things so backwards?

Now I understand that it usually is the ones closest to us that hurt us the most BUT surely trust should be bigger than this.

The bible talks a lot about trust; often saying don't put your trust in people but in the Lord. However, leading on from this comes that those who call themselves follows of Christ should be trustworthy people, people of their word, people who allow the characteristics of Jesus to shine through, people who are changed from one degree of glory to another.

Which means that we should be able to trust people. And if there was a bit more trust, then our relationships would be that much better. And then our world might be a little bit better...

Jesus said that if someone asks something of you; you should give it to them, and then give them more. A point which we could take from this is that we should be willing. Willing to allows others in, to trust even if sometimes we get exploited.

some thoughts during this time of unrest and riots

Although I deplore the violence, I do get that sometimes people feel the only way they will get attention is through its use.

Wherever there is violence, opportunists will jump on board for their own selfish means.

Prayer and positive social action are both necessary and valuable responses in the face of such bad times. Wisdom to know how to use both of these is needed.

Make love not war; although as my wife amusingly pointed out, do we really want these people procreating?

So make tea and cake not war; the worst they'll get is fat!

So much respect for anyone who works in the public sector; and today it is for the police and fire services.

Tis quite hard to concentrate at work when all of 'this' is going on...

It's not the hardest thing in the world...

...but it is still tough.

So the beautiful wife has finished work, meaning it is my alarm that is the first signal it's time to get up.

Man it is tough leaving bed when she's lying there all cutely wrapped up in the duvet.

Freedom to Speak

With all the controversy that is going on at the moment it got me thinking about free speech.

If there are restrictions placed upon one's freedom to speak who decides what they are? And how do we know that is right?

If freedom to speech is a human right, things that some people will say are going to offend us. But just because it offends us, is it right to take away their right to express it?

Complicated...

And I'm not entirely sure what I think, persuasive arguments can swing me either way.

Is it too late to say thank you..

...I hope not!

Last night we posted the first of our thank you cards. It's gonna be a long process, notably because people were so amazingly generous. What stunned me and still does nearly 3 months on is how so many people gave so much. It has challenged me about what it means to be generous.

Nearly Three Months In...

So nearly three months in and we graduated marriage school! Woop woop.

All the best to Andy and Amy and James and Tracy who will be the last of the couples to get married! Not long now guys!

It might seem odd to be doing a wedding prep class after you're married but actually I think it worked out well.

You can always learn more. And it was quite cool to see how far we've come this year...

Pretty sure someone said the day you stop learning is the day you died.

Family

Last week was my dad's birthday and parents' wedding anniversary. These two things got me thinking ahead a few years and how I'd like aspects of my life to turn out.

Without wanting to sound like I'm bragging, wifey and I made the decision that on our day off we'd spend some time with my parents. And I also popped over to see Dad after work and give him a present during the busiest day of the week. Why?

Because if and when I have kids and they've grown up I'd kinda like them to have a relationship with me, to want to spend time with me.

I also will quite readily admit that I get it wrong on a lot of occasions and can be quite selfish. But I think the knowing this is the first step to being able to do something. Ignorance of ones own failings just leads to more pain for everyone.

I've also noticed how much effort my parents put into trying to have relationship with their wider family. They are so generous. Tis hard to see that get ignored sometimes. I hope that I turn out as gracious as them. I'm also looking fwd to when they're a hundred, me and wifey are seventy, the kids forty and their kids are ten!

Passing Out On A Train

So this morning I almost passed out on the train, not the best journey to work. Managed to exit the train at Southall before I blacked out! Didn't make it into work...
Instead I spent the day in bed, for the first time in two months and seven days my wife wasn't there. It was weird to say the least.
Feel better now, hopefully will make it into work tomorrow.
The nice thing today was the concern my boss showed for me and the phone call from Mrs T (and coming home from work early). Which reminded me how connected to others I am. How blessed. How everyone needs family.

What does it mean to be a disciple

I was challenged in church yesterday by the question what does it mean to be a disciple of Jesus?

One of the points was that it means to watch closely what the master says and does and to do likewise.

Got me thinking that if we as followers of Jesus did a bit more of that then the world would be a better place...

Things That I Love About My Wife...

...which aren't the obvious ones (such as how wonderful and beautiful she is!)
1 - she gets what it means to marry into a family and as such has shown great care, concern and love for my family. She gets that it isn't all about her but about being a part of something. The love she has shown my family and friends has actually challenged me to be a better me.
2 - she is infinitely more musical and skilled in this area than me yet she doesn't patronise me but has shown great discernment as to when to help, say something, teach me things.
3 - I love the sound of her voice, but she is so humble with it, she's part of a choir and she understands the whole is better than the singular and as such she joins with others in making a beautiful sound.
4 - she hasn't lost her rag at me when I put the pots and pans in the wrong cupboards.
5 - she'll enter into banter but knows what is appropriate and doesn't push things too far.
6 - she watches sport with me, she even actively puts it on for me. She also rightly predicted the Barca-Utd result and spotted everyone's favourite bald headed retired referee in New York!

A New App

I've downloaded a new blogging app for my fabby HTC Desire HD... this could be good, bad or dangerous!

19 Days and Counting

So I've been in a state of wedded bliss for 19 days now!

Everything else is secondary.

madly madly in love

So this evening I popped along to the pub to catch up with an old work colleague. Four of us had a couple of drinks and naturally talk of my up coming nuptials abounded. It blessed me greatly hearing my friends talk about love, marriage and what I had in such glowing terms. It reminded me (like I needed it) about how gracious and generous God has been to me and how madly madly I am in love with my fiancee. She is amazing. And God has once again exceeded my expectations.

Almost Ten (Days...)

So tomorrow will be ten days until the wedding.

As is blindingly obvious the last few months have been... very busy, quite stressful, interesting, fun, frustrating, wonderful and a whole heap of other emotions.

I've left my flat at 17A Long Lane - I intend to write about this another time. I am currently ensconced in my sister and brother in law's spare room. Chez Clark being my interim spot before becoming a married man and living in wedded bliss with my wife in Hayes.

The wedding stuff is almost complete - I intend to write about this after I get back from the honeymoon when I can look back on it all with rose tinted glasses of being a married man! I say rose tinted glasses, I genuinely have a pair so could just write it with them on.

The BBC website appears to be messing around, considering I have just downloaded a new web browser (joined the firefox brigade) and am trying to re-bookmark all my fave websites this is quite frustrating!

And finally I have started writing a song for my brother and his wife forthcoming nuptials. Tentatively titled "I Remember".

And finally finally some thank yous. To my wife to be; you are amazing and I fall more in love with you each day. To my family; thanks for putting up with me these last few months which have been quite strange for you all. To my friends; thanks for giving me the space to plan a wedding and being so helpful when called upon. To everyone else; thanks for whatever it is you've done to help!

BBC is still not working, rubbish, although I did see Ghana's equalising goal in the 91st minute so I know the footie result, this amused me no end!

number one hundred

Two months to go...

Tis funny how things change. 367 days ago I was single. In 2 months time I will be married. Yesterday I had the most beautiful evening with the most beautiful woman in the world.

This evening we watched the footie, ate the leftover curry and laughed at students who try and tell their teachers that they didn't rip 'their' work off the internet. As if teachers don't know about Google!

One of the things that I am so very grateful to my parents for is how they never divided the sacred and the secular, there was just life and God is at the centre of it. I hope that I grow up and beyond into the holiness that they have. I love already how conversations and life with Vikki flows from one thing to another, the sacred and the secular squished together. How one minute we can be talking about a scripture and the next sharing a kiss and then making a cuppa tea.

Two months til I'm married. Still so very excited.

lending an unhelpful hand

This evening my amazing fiancee continued the arduous task of clearing stuff up in her flat so I can move in. I mainly got in the way and was probably unhelpful. I sometimes wonder how I managed to end up with someone quite so lovely. God really must love me, I have no other reasonable explanation for this.

Don't throw the baby out with the bathwater

Just because you don't agree with something about someone doesn't mean everything about them is wrong… Christians are (quite rightly sometimes) labelled as judgemental, I find it so sad that we (I include myself in this bracket) listen/watch someone and when they say/do something we dislike or disagree with/when they say something judgemental we then in turn judge them and dismiss them entirely. Just because they have said or done or judged something which we disagree with does not mean that everything about them is wrong. We who have judged secondly in this dirty chain of events are just as bad, if not worse sometimes.

Without wanting to blow my own trumpet; a silly little example. I have some severe ideological differences with my two closest friends, my vicar, my mentee, my future father and brother in law. But does this mean that I walk away from them and judge them as dead to me? No. Does this mean that I condone everything about their lifestyle choice? No. Does this mean I love them any less? …no.

Now obviously I am in the right on this, and if anyone disagrees they can get lost, but anyways, oh wait no that's not what I meant to say. Diversity is a beautiful thing, our differences although might be hard to live with are part of what makes life so beautiful. God calls us to love one another, to turn the other cheek, to let him do the judging and for us to do like what Jesus did.

So to all my Spurs chums, my sincerest apologies for mocking you last night, I was wrong.

Seemingly innocent things causing all sorts of bother

I feel like the last few weeks all sorts of seemingly innocent things have caused all sorts of problems. Now I must confess that I'm not great at confrontation, I also take everything personally which doesn't help matters either, but I am finding it all a tad frustrating, no actually it's driving me crazy and leading me to be a not brilliant version of myself.

Sometimes I wish that I could just run away with Vikki and then not have to deal with any of it, more and more the idea of eloping becomes appealing. It won't solve any of the issues but it'd sure be fun for a while!

That idea is of course out of the question as wedding invitations with RSVP on them have been posted today... So no elopes, will just have to enjoy the honeymoon!

I'm trying to think what I've learned from all of this?
A family is complicated
B don't be selfish and depressed
C believe the best of people and keep on being positive
D I cannot wait to marry Vikki, she makes all these temporary frustrations worthwhile.

paper, envelopes, rings and a cadburys creme egg

All of a sudden things are flying. Broke my self imposed not eating chocolate ban, again... however we do have some shiny and very pretty bands of gold to wear. And coolest of all they're engraved with our wedding date. Which I think means it is official now!

That date in case you're wondering is April sometime, hehe.

Also got the paper and envelopes for the wedding invites. It's all coming together. Sunday we're discussing music with Lee the Organist, can't wait!

And now some Not Going Out.

new year...

So we're eleven days into the new year... has all that optimism disappeared yet?

I can't decide because my view point is completely scued (sic) for twenty eleven as it is the year I am to be wed and therefore it is by all account going to be amazing and I am therefore optimistic still!

The new years resolution is still going well. Only 354 days to go.

Wedding plans are going well. Still need ties and cravat, top hats and a cane.